Very often a child who has been bullied will feel incredibly sad, fearful and probably scared and dealing with this situation can feel quite daunting to any parent. Listening to your child and understanding their fears is key inorder to progress to building the child’s confidence and this will have taken a massive knock. Differentiating between signs of bullying and a child simple telling tales can be sometimes be difficult but if you always take a child’s complaints serious and listen closely discovering the tell-tale signs will be much simpler. If a child is being bullied or intimidated it’s almost impossible for the child to turn it around as it is so fearful and in most circumstances the situation needs an adult, parent or teacher to intervene and solve the problem.
Dealing with a child’s feelings
According to specialists in this field a boy will deal with the fallout of bullying different to how a girl will deal with it. Boys tend to become angry and discontent if they are being bullied, they may take their anger out on other siblings if they have them or be more distant towards their parents. Whereas, girls tend to feel sad and rejected if they are unfortunate enough to experience bullying but both boys and girls will have a low self-esteem.
The actual degree of the fallout behaviour relies heavily on the amount of bullying a child is actually going through. If the child is showing an intense amount of anger or seems severely upset, withdrawn and depressed then this is a clear indicator that the child is receiving a large amount of bullying that is continuously rather than occasionally.
Naturally parents are very protective and will often go to any lengths when it comes to protecting their children especially from those who cause the child harm and confronting the bullies seems like the primary action most parents would take however, this maybe more detrimental to the situation making the person doing the bullying a lot more angrier. The first step in any bullying situation is to establish how the victim is feeling and take this on board showing them that you recognise that their feelings are valid. Ensure that you let them know that whatever they are feeling is fine and that expressing how you feel will help others to understand the situation. If the child is feeling confused this is perfectly normal and trying to help them make any kind of sense of the behaviour of another child might contribute to the child understanding the position they are in.
Building a Picture of the Situation
Children may not express how they are feeling the way adults can, their language and dialogue are much more simpler and inorder for an adult to gain insight into the struggle the child is facing then they must come down to their level. Literally, bring yourself to your child’s height or even sit down next to each other as an adult bearing over a child can give them priority and dealing with bullying means the breaking down of hierarchal positions so the child feels comfortable. Choice of words should be chosen carefully so the child is aware of the meaning and understanding and can relate to them even if the conversation takes on roles as bully and victim.